Mixed feelings, mostly anger.

Writing about this journey might help me deal and process feelings, but I have never been the type of person to write about myself or keep a diary.  Today I have a million thoughts running amuck through my mind and anger is the most prominent. I am livid and irritated that this "thing" is getting in the way of plans.  We were starting another round of IVF with PGD to try and have a baby without passing on neurofibromatosis to future generations. We had to cancel the round after one prior day of shots and postpone until we know what will transpire.  Subsequently this tumor is getting in the way of my job search, who wants to hire someone who has a upcoming brain surgery?  *sigh* "Hi, I want a job, but I have brain surgery next week.  Ideally I will be at the same cognitive state that you are interviewing me at after the surgery."  Seriously! I am extremely mad.  How dare this tumor get in my way!